There are your everyday minor embarrassments as an adult. 

Maybe you made a social faux pas, forgot someone’s name mid-conversation, or tripped up in front of people. 

As adults, we can mostly brush these things off, even if we are slightly red in the face. 

For kids, even small embarrassing moments can be catastrophic. These can begin feelings of anxiety and kick-start avoidance behaviour. 

Although there’s no way to protect our children from life’s embarrassing moments, we can prepare them by building on their resilience and confidence. 

Reach out today to learn more about how Mind Marvels can positively impact your child’s emotional development.

Setting model behaviour

Children often look to their parents for guidance on how to handle difficult emotions like embarrassment.

As parents, we set the tone for how to navigate these situations, so it’s important to reflect on how we manage our embarrassing experiences. The way we react can significantly shape how our children approach their emotions.

Children are likely to mimic those behaviours if we tend to fixate on our mistakes or express frustration when embarrassed.

Staying calm and avoiding overreaction shows them that embarrassing moments aren’t such a big deal. Modelling a healthy, composed response helps them learn to brush off the small incidents and move on without dwelling.

It’s also crucial not to tease children about their embarrassing moments. While some things kids do may seem funny, making jokes at their expense can make them feel worse.

Instead, offer understanding and support so they don’t associate embarrassment with shame, which helps build their resilience.

Take their embarrassment seriously

There really isn’t anything to measure the enormity of any one embarrassment. What seems small to you may be massive to your child. 

If they are experiencing a moment of embarrassment, it’s important not to dismiss their feelings even if to you, it’s no big deal. 

Downplaying the situation is a natural response to diminish that embarrassment, but if a child is having a hugely upsetting moment, saying it’s not a big deal may make it seem like you’re not taking them seriously. 

A balancing act

It’s also important to keep in mind that we don’t overreact.

When a child is upset about being teased, for example, it’s easy to feel really angry or upset on their behalf and to express that to them. 

Don’t automatically assume your child needs you to step in and fix the situation. If a self-conscious child thinks their parent will overreact or make things more awkward, they may hesitate to open up about their feelings.

You can, though, thank them for opening up to you. 

Praise them for the coping skills

If they have voiced a particularly embarrassing situation to you, then it’s great to validate those feelings, without dwelling on them and over-comforting them. 

What do you do instead? Praise their positive coping skills in that situation. Comment on their bravery in handling something embarrassing. 

If they make a mistake, focus on praising them for their focus and ability to finish a task even despite the mistake.

Reframing a negative experience and turning it into something positive helps kids identify healthy responses and reactions and practise their metacognitive skills.  

Although there’s no way to protect our children from life’s embarrassing moments, we can prepare them by building on their resilience and confidence. 

Create a sense of perspective 

When a child experiences something embarrassing, like falling in gym class while others laugh, it can feel to them like everyone saw it, everyone laughed, and no one will ever forget it.

While we know that’s not the case, younger children often struggle to see beyond their own emotions, making the situation feel much bigger than it is. 

It’s important to guide children through their emotions to help them put these feelings into perspective. Ask open-ended questions to help them reflect, like how they felt when they saw another student fall.

This helps them see their experience in context and realise that they’re not the only ones who have experienced it.

Sharing your moments of embarrassment, like dropping something in public, can also normalise these feelings and show them that it happens to everyone.

However, be mindful not to compare your experiences directly to theirs, as this can make them feel like their feelings are less important. If your child isn’t ready to talk, respect that and give them space.

Letting them take the lead will help them process the situation on their terms. By offering gentle guidance and perspective, you can help them move on and build resilience for the future.

Time to intervene

Sometimes embarrassing situations are just part of growing up, but if your child frequently comes home upset or has noticeable changes in behaviour or mood, there might be something more serious at play.

Bullying could be one cause. While it’s normal for children to occasionally be teased or embarrassed, consistent reports of being humiliated or teased by peers—especially by those who are older, bigger, or more popular—may indicate bullying. This is a time to step in and address the situation.

Changes in behaviour, like difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite, or excessive worry after an embarrassing incident, are also red flags. If your child’s reaction seems overly intense or can’t move past the situation, they may need extra support.

Similarly, if your child starts avoiding certain classes, social groups, or activities or frequently claims to be sick to avoid school, it could be a sign they’re struggling with something more serious and need help.

It is tempting to shield children from embarrassment and difficult things. Still, by validating their feelings, praising their coping skills, and creating a sense of perspective, we can actively build their ability to cope in the future.